Your Site Is Fucked
Let's find out exactly how fucked. We'll check your links, SEO, speed, accessibility, and more. No sugarcoating.
What We Judge
Broken Links
Every dead link is a customer walking away. We find them all.
SEO
Meta tags, titles, headings — the stuff Google actually cares about.
Performance
If your site loads slower than a DMV line, we'll let you know.
Accessibility
Can everyone use your site? Let's find out.
Mobile
70% of traffic is mobile. Is your site ready?
Security
HTTPS, headers, the basics that keep you off the news.
What People Say
(These are totally real and not made up at all)
"I showed my boss this report and now I'm the CTO. The old CTO? Fired into the sun."
"My site scored an F. I cried. Then I fixed it. Now it's a C+. Progress."
"This tool told me I had 47 broken links. Turns out my site was held together by vibes and prayers."
"Finally, a website tool that talks to me like my disappointed father."
"I scored a 94. I printed the report and framed it. My therapist says it's unhealthy."
"404 errors? More like 404 excuses. Thanks for the wake-up call."